Critics, Haters, and Rejection: Turning a Negative into a Positive

 

Hello everyone!

It has been a long month and I am so happy that I still have things to say. Even more so, I am so happy you are still in this with me! The past two weeks have been amazingly positive and I want to say as frankly as I can, it is literally because of you. I have received so many positive and encouraging comments, likes, and from you brave souls that really believe in me, follows. This type of engagement is what keeps me wanting to keep writing and helps me understand all of your needs, hopes, and desires. With that said, I think it would be almost irresponsible to say everything was positive.

 

My First Critique, My First Reaction

In order to tell this brief story, it would be valuable to provide some context. Last week I invested in “Year As” and paid for a logo and business card design. (I’ll share the design and company at the end of the post) Because of this expense, I didn’t feel right about paying for a Facebook or Instagram ad. Instead, I went through my Facebook pages, groups and friends and did some old school door to door, rather page to page canvassing. I was very intentional with who and where I shared my link because I did not want to spam people. Depending on the page I wrote a specific message describing the post and to conclude it, I left a very generic statement “comment your opinions”. It seemed harmless and at the time I really thought that I wanted to hear people’s opinions. What I realized was, I did not want to hear people’s opinions, I wanted to hear compliments.

So when a friend responded with critiques, I was completely blindsided. Up until that point, all 14 days of my blog, I had not thought about the reality that people might not just dislike it, but feel the need to tell me what is wrong with it. The comments left were completely constructive and not at all belittling or malicious, but I was still hurt.

I immediately called my mom, (an avid reader of “Year As”), I asked her opinion, I vented, I huffed and I puffed, and then I had to get over it. I felt vulnerable, but I knew I would, in fact it’s in my bio, “by being honest, vulnerable and candid about my experiences, I hope “Year As” can inspire you…”, so when I was faced with my vulnerability why did I feel so upset?

 

Why I Felt Hurt?

I made it. I made the website, the font, the color scheme, the words on the pages. All of these things are a reflection of me. So when I saw a comment that implied it wasn’t good enough, I felt like I wasn’t doing good enough. But they were right, it isn’t good enough. And that’s okay because that means “Year As” is working. I shouldn’t be as good as I am going to get at week two. While I may not have wanted a reminder, remembering that writing, marketing, learning, even living is a process is super important. I read a lot of blogs that briefly address how “bad” they were at writing when they started blogging, and I always read them with skepticism. I realize what they are trying to say is not that they are “bad” writers, but they have grown and gotten so much better with time. That’s why I started “Year As”, not to be an expert, but to learn how to become one.

 

Okay. What’s the Takeaway?

Takeaway?

Well one, it is completely fine to get your feelings hurt. Making something, anything, music, poetry, food, babies, they all require a piece of you to live, thrive, and exist. You made it. It’s part of you, you are part of it. Getting negative feedback or even constructive criticism isn’t an easy pill to swallow, but you can’t allow that to create doubt in yourself or your work. Our creations are not for everybody, there are 7 billion people on this planet. We can’t expect them all to love what we have created, however 7 billion is still a lot of people, so for every no there is bound to be a yes. You just have to believe in your ability and find the yes.

My second takeaway, criticism or even complete rejection is actually helpful. Understanding how people interpret your work is empowering. If you understand the good, the bad, and the ugly you are prepared to address it, fix it, or stand by it. While I may completely disagree with what the commenter said, I now understand that there are people who may interpret my work in the same way that person saw it. And now, I can make the appropriate changes in the way I see best fit to improve “Year As”. Had everyone just kept complimenting me, I wouldn’t have taken time to sit back and critically look at the content I am producing. With that said, please keep complimenting me, I much rather that.

Lastly, starting something new really is about the journey. This blog was inspired by a YouTuber named Shameless Maya, who decided she was going to put herself out there and see where it got her. Now, five years later, she is living a fun and adventurous life that she never knew was possible. She didn’t always have the answers, I don’t always have the answers, and you may not always have the answers, but that is part of the process. Eventually the answers will come to you, things will work out and everything will fall into place. Just remember to keep working.

 

Now to Business…

My business cards are in! I love my logo and my business cards are super cute! I commissioned these designs from a company based in Philadelphia called Geek’D Up Graphics. It was really cool because I emailed them and got my designs in a 24 hour turn around. So that was pretty convenient.  And now you can share my info by just taking a screenshot! Feel free to check them out.

Tell me, what do you think?

 

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Most Importantly

Like I said earlier my success is dependent on you. So please follow me on my social media at the bottom of the page and like, share, and follow “Year As The Blog”.

Also, I want to do something a little bit differently.

Tweet me @BrisaBiaMarie and tell me what your goal is for 2017 and hashtag #YearAsTheBlog. The goal can be as small as eat a vegetable every day to as big as earn a million dollars. But tweet me and let me know!

If you see retweets of responses on my page, interact with them, let’s build a community together. And don’t worry if you see this post weeks later, I’ll still be on twitter so tweet away! I promise I respond.

And I’d like to know what has been the hardest critique you have had to deal with? Please comment your responses below and let’s talk about it.

 

So tweet me your 2017 goal with #YearAsTheBlog and comment your toughest critique below! I’m waiting.

 

I am so excited to keep growing and learning with you all!

Thank you.

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14 thoughts on “Critics, Haters, and Rejection: Turning a Negative into a Positive

  1. I wanna cry (I’m actually a crybaby deep DEEEEP down inside) because this hit be right in the gut. I’m in my work break room and i don’t wanna go back on the floor. Lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awe! Well im glad it resonated with you. There’s nothing wrong with crying.
      And unfortunately…
      Lol eventually you do have to go back out there haha 💙

      Like

  2. Receiving critiques is definitely a tough pill to swallow. I am like you when it comes to being critiqued, my feeling get hurt, but at the same time I understand that without constructive criticism there is no way to truly grow. I have learned that blogging is all about growth and as much as I welcome the compliments. I would have to be okay with the criticism as well as long as it is in a constructive way. I think your. Isiness card is amazing. I love the image of the woman on the card it is beautiful. I think that you are heading in a great direction. I think it is commendable that you acknowledging your feels and allow yourself to feel that but are understand enough to notice the value in some of the feedback you received. I wish you all the luck with your blog. I have no doubt that you will be successful.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much. Your kind words and insight really mean a lot to me! Thank you for taking the time out to read my blog and comment 💙

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Anytime! 😊👍

        Liked by 1 person

  3. This post is right on time!! I had a very similar situation I got negative feedback on my blog and I was distraught lol and doubting myself. I started to feel like I wasn’t doing a good job, but like you said when you first start you will grow and learn, and also hearing negative feedback just pushed me even harder to put my all into my posts…this was a great read 🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so happy you liked it! Thank you so much, and exactly pushing forward is better than giving up!!

      Like

  4. Criticism is part of the process Brisa. I’m sure over time you will get used to it. I understand it’s instinct for all of us to want the positive side of things. When we get something contrary to what we think or what we want we clamp up, we try to preserve ourselves and protect ourselves. But you raised some great points in the post and I feel you have the right kind of mindset to keep growing and improving your writing. Keep it up!

    Like

    1. Thank you so much. It is still very much a learning process for me, but it ultimately is a positive and fun one!

      Like

  5. This was actually pretty insightful. Great job

    Like

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